I'm Sorry,My Friend

    Firstly, I've to say that I'm sorry. I'd like to say in front of you but I don't have the guts. I'm a coward. You're my close friend who understands me well. However, I don't know why I can't apologize to you. You didn't tell me what's wrong but I could see that something's wrong. At school, you didn't talk to me. I tried to talk to you, but you seemed mad. It was like I was such a disgust to you. Was I? Or Am I? We had exam, so I took exam as an excuse. Maybe you were busy studying for exam,so you didn't have time to bother me. When I saw the look from your face, I know you were mad at me. Nope, still mad at me. I didn't know what I did that makes you ignore me. Till I saw the post. It was bout me? Surely it was. Who else? We used to be so close. Now, we were like strangers. It was my fault. I barely talk to you. Sorry,I can't tell you the reason. I want to remain our friendship,of course. Maybe I made you felt that I've neglected our friendship. But,no! Never! I still remember when you were there for me during those horrible times. You know what I mean. You were there to comfort me, shared with me and you knew me best. You knew how to comfort me. Those words were what I wanted to hear from. You gave me courage,support and you made me believed that I was right. You found my confidence. I almost collapsed that time, I always had negative thinking and I felt like jumping off the building. Suddenly, you were there at the right moment. You pulled my hand up and made me stood on my feet again. You were one of them who believed in me. You were the one who understood the whole situation. I found back my life and happiness. No, my life has changed. I changed. At first, I thought I've changed to a better person, a more cheerful person. Now, I feel like I'm an evil person. A failure who fails to maintain her friendship. A selfish person who doesn't care bout her friend.T.T How could I do this to you? And I didn't even realise it... I wish that you would've tell me. I don't mind. I'd glad if you tell me so I won't make bigger mistakes. Now,I've done it and we are apart. I suck! Sometimes, I didn't know what to talk to you. Last time, we could just start with any topic. Now is just awkward. I still can't find the reason. Life got harder and busier. The things around me seemed to surround me in thinnest midst. I kept focused on my stuff till I forgot to take a look at you. What a selfish person I am! Self....Haiz.... How I wish time could just fly back. Maybe I will realise it and fix it when there's a chance.  It's so difficult for me to make the see-saw balance. You're my friend and you're one side of the see-saw. But..there's other side that I've to take care of... I've imbalanced it. Now,you're ignoring me. Can I make it balance again? Can we be friends again? Can you accept my apology? I seriously do care bout you. If you're in a bad mood,I'll accompany you no matter how busy I am. That's what friends do,right? If you got anything, just please do tell me. I'm always here for you. Just spit it out! I really don't want to lose a good friend like you....