The Problem

        What are we thinking? What are we doing? Once again, we repeat the same thing. You got mad for the same thing while I got mad for the same thing too. Every week, we've to repeat this kind of "war". The first day is perfect..Then, it got worse...I don't know what to say to you now. When I look at you, there's a lot of thing hide deep down inside me. I wanna spit it out, but I choose to close my mouth in the end. I don't how to start and where to begin. I'm afraid you might avoid my question. I'm afraid that I make the wrong decision to spit it out. I'm afraid our situation got even worse. I don't want to regret my decision. So, I choose to keep my mouth shut. Am I too over? I don't know what to do. Today, I wanted to make my step and talk to you. However, when I reached there, you didn't look at me, you didn't tell me what happen and what to do. I just stood there like an idiot. I gave up and just walked away from your area. People ask me, I replied them don't know because I really don't know. You are the only one who knows bout everything. Me? Just a fake name who has know nothing about it. I felt bad. I wanted to help, you know? If you didn't want, you could just push me away. Don't force yourself to keep me.

        You talked to me, I really didn't want to talk to you that moment. I was so mad. Somehow, I wished you talk to me. You did but I pushed you away. I upset you, I know. Sorry. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to solve the problem. When I am mad, I can't do anything well. In the end, I disappointed my partner. Darn! I shouldn't have involve her. I should focus and do my part. When they called out your name, I got distracted. I felt like crying because I didn't know what to do. I hoped someone could drag me out. Of course, I want you to be the one. I needed comfort. We've been through the same thing over and over again. We've explained to each other endlessly.  My answer is still the same. You should know who you are. We've promised each other that time. That promise. Can you just keep it in mind? Please don't forget. If you do, there will be another situation like this.

PS: I'm Sorry.

Sweet Latte

      There we are. Sitting next to each other and sharing a cup of latte. The one we like the most. Katy and Leon. Sitting next to each other is better than sitting face-to-face. Leon stands a chance to hold Katy's hand while Katy likes the way he holds her hand. Warm and lovely. Sitting next to him, she feels protected. Putting his arm around her as if she's belong to him. No one can harm her then. Just both of them in their own sweet world. Sipping the latte, filling her lips with the sweet taste of latte. The bittersweet aroma tickles her nose and makes her demand for more.

      That cup of latte reminds them every bits of memories. Their memories. They prefer sharing the same cup of latte. Sipping one by one. Let the foam lined across the lips. Wiping away the foam for each other. Still smiling in the sweetest way. Order Katy's favorite green tea cheese cake. Enjoying the tea break together although they just have 30 minutes time for each other. It's enough, satisfied. Best moment every single day. As long they are there for each other, 1 minute is more than enough. Going to the same cafe again and again. However, it never bores. Laying her head on his broad shoulder, closing her eye and humming along the rhythm of the music. Everything seems perfect. Nothing's wrong. Nothing bothers them. Just simple and sweet...

Are You Enough?

       Her heart aches. She can't cry, tears just can't flow. They just swim around the cornea. Deep breaths.. She felt lonely. What brings her to this kind of situation? Is it her fault? Maybe it is. If not,they won't turn on her. But, she still feel clueless. Confused on what's going on these days. When she comes back,it's like everything has turn around. It's not the same anymore. Different in a bad way. They don't talk to her anymore. When she goes to them, they just turn around and leave. That's all? Why do they ignore her? What had she done that offend them? She wants to find out the answer so badly. However, nobody tells her. She wishes someone just pop out and solves her questions. They respond her in no interest at all. They sound tired. They react as if they want her to go away, to disappear from their sight. Seriously? Why don't they just block her? Why do they have to make her suffer in pain. Pain in her heart. Why do they have to let her know that they are there? But, they don't make an effort to talk to her. Aren't they friends all the while? She never forget them. Some things she did had reasons. It was not what had they expected. It was not the same. She wishes she could just explain them the real truth but they didn't ask her. They just left. She wants to pull them back and ask for the reason. Somehow,she's tired of this situation keep repeating again and again. So, she just give up and let them go. Totally not fine at all though she tells everyone that she is. What's the point? Nobody cares anymore. Is she selfish or them? She really don't want to lose them. She didn't mean to treat them that way. However, she does respond, she makes a conversation first. They so called friends didn't even bother to talk to her. When she makes the effort to say "hi" first, they replied the same thing. Soon, the next word is "bye". Sigh... What happen? Not friends anymore? Totally strangers now? At least, give her an explanation. Make things clear between them. She really don't want things to end just like this. No explanation. Just nothing. Why do they have to make things so difficult? She needs time to fix it. Just give her time, can't they? If that's what they want. Fine...She don't know what else can she do anymore. She tried. What's the point if she keeps on trying but no respond from them? More hope leads more pain. Just try to believe it's not just a false hope.

It's Never Done

           Are we okay? Are we fine? I wanted to ask you,but... those words just couldn't come out. It seemed so easy but it was way difficult than what I've expected. You seemed to hide everything from me. When I asked you something, you just answered "Nothing". Can't you tell me the truth? I don't like misery. I don't like lies. I could tell that you were lying. Why can't you just spit it out everything and let it be clear. Questions questions everywhere. I was the one who didn't know a thing while you were the one who knows everything. Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? What's the problem? What happened? "Nothing...You think too much." Really nothing? But your face told me everything. It was definitely not a good thing. Never. Somehow, I really hope that maybe I had over thoughts in my mind. I hope that I wasn't true. I would be glad if you come to me and tell me everything's alright, don't worry. I hope that everything could go back to normal and we live like normal. We could smile to each other often and had endless topic. I miss the moments we talked like nothing stopped us. We appreciated each other and helped each other all the time. Now, we just look like strangers. Once I started to talk to you, you would disappear in the air as if I couldn't see you. I know you did it on purpose. You avoided me. You have the rights on whether to reply me or not. I preferred that you didn't reply me in the first place. I  hated it when you replied and made many sort of excuses to avoid me. Those lame excuses couldn't fool me, you idiot! I just pretended that I believe you. Actually,I don't. I just waited for the time you tell me everything. Don't feel bad to tell me. It's better to make things clear. If not, both of us will continue suffer.