Are we friends?

Gosh! I hate this part! Why it happened to me? Why it happened to us? When they asked me:" Will our friendship breaks apart after we transfer?" I said: "No,it can't be." But now, it's obviously different. When we stay under the different ceiling, we live on our own. I'm busy, you are busy too. Busy with different things. You don't care bout me anymore. You don't call me, wait for me, talk with me and walk with me. Just leave me alone standing on the hallway. I try to catch up with you, but you turn around and walk with someone else. I try to talk to you, but you turn your head to the other side. I try to share my secrets with you, but you move your eyes up and down, hung down your head and don't seem interested. Sometime, you skip our topic and I'm sick with it. Although I'm sick with it, I still stand my breath and force a smile. So,this is it. Our friendship change. The look is still there but the scent is gone. We sit together, but the string is not there anymore. I pull a face, you don't notice all the time. I guess you don't care anymore. Sometime, I try to walk away, leave from the awkwardness and leave you guys alone. It's just me alone. Just me. I wanted to cry, but tears just don't flow out this time. When I want to cry, they don't want to flow out, they just stuck inside my eyes. What's wrong with them? Urgh! Maybe they are teaching me to be strong. I can't lose you because you are a part of my life. My house is quiet now without your voice. My heart is empty without you. My face is dull without your laughter. I'm afraid of being alone, don't you know? You know I have worries in my life. You know what am I afraid of. But, why you did this to me? I can't stand it long. When I tell you bout something, you don't want to listen. When I wanna go somewhere, you don't want to follow. When I ask for your help, you reject. You always forget what I told you. You know what kind of situation I'm in. But, you never understand. You ask me out, you know I can't, you still force me to go out. I said can't for some reasons and you pulled a face. I don't want to explain to you anymore because you won't understand anyway. My life is busy, I got so many things to do in a minute. I know you don't like it but I really need to do my things. Once a second lost without a reason, my life will mess up. I just can't waste my time do nothing and you just can't change my lifestyle. Now, I realize that both of us live in a different world. However, I still want to stick with you, that's why we called"we". I admit that jealousy rose in my heart when you just stick with the others and ditch me. It is so wrong. It is not what I want. That is not what suppose to be. Everything goes wrong now, I can't accept everything in once. I stress out, cried aloud and almost faint. Still, I don't want to admit that I'm weak. We know each other for ages, but you still don't understand me. Why? Is it so difficult to understand bout me. Or you just don't care? It doesn't matter? It really hurt when you just walk away. What am I in your heart? Am I just an invisible friend? I hate this feeling. I never complain the way you treat me. I don't want any mistake nor misunderstanding between us. What might happen later could hurt me. I'm sick of this "hurt" word, sick of this feeling. But, I'm used to it....