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Saturday, November 19, 2011

Shut Up and Listen

Just leave me alone and shut up. I'm begging you. I'm tired. So tired of your nag and everything. Stop mumbling and just keep quiet. Sorry that I'm being rude....

I can't stand it anymore. You won't stop mumbling, you won't stop complaining every day. Complaining about me all the time even though it involves small matter. Blaming everything on me although it is not my fault. You will say: "It's all your fault." Every day, you'll say :" Why you can't learn? Why you can't change? Why you can't improve?" Actually,I'm learning, I'm changing and I'm improving.It's just that you missed it, you can't see it because you don't even bother. You don't even bother to know me. The only thing you know is keep mumbling in front of me. Keep expressing your dissatisfaction. You don't know me at all. You think you know it all,but you don't. You don't know what I like to do, what I like to eat and what am I thinking. You seem like a stranger. You called me useless. I said:" Why don't you just don't give birth to me at first?" I was expecting that you would say something nice. Then, you replied:"If I know you're this kind of person, I won't give birth to you." My heart broke into pieces. My mood fell and my tears sprang down. I was shocked and speechless. You called me useless every time and I tried to ignore because I wanted to prove that you were wrong. I studied so hard, kept on studying. I didn't care whether I was tired or sick, I just kept on studying, joining societies and did a lot of stuff to impress you. In fact, you are not impress. You never praise me. Never in my life. I showed my result, and you'll just scold me for those I didn't score as you've expected. If I got B,you'll ask why I didn't get A. If I got 90, you'll ask why I didn't get 100. At first, you wanted me to be active in societies. Now, you kept on scolding me. You want me to quit those societies, but I can't. I can't do that. I put on a lot of effort and time on it,now you want me to quit. Never. My teachers praise me, but you never. I wish you could just praise me for once. I tried to do a lot of thing for you but you never notice. You just look at the bad side, keep finding my weakness. Where's my good side? Why you never even bother to look at it? I'm tired. I give up. I did so many thing and you still call me useless. You just praise my sibling. What bout me? Am I your daughter?

When you said:" Get good result is not everything. What for getting good result? You're still useless.", I was hurt. What do you want?! What do you want me to do,then you'll look at me with proud. I'm a human,not a doll. I got feelings. Don't you know how hurt I was when you said that word. When you scold me everytime, my confidence and pride getting weaker and I feel like a total jerk. A useless person as u said. I keep thinking that I'm not good enough. Everything I did didn't match your wish. You never accept what I did. You never accept my opinion. You never accept everything bout me. You think you're right all the time while I am wrong. I'm a fool while you're the smart one. Why you never listen to me? Why can't you just listen to what I've said? I've my own rights to speak up. I've my rights to make decision. I'm grown up. I need privacy. I'm pretty so I no need privacy and you must control me strictly? Wow. What a "good" reason. I'm fed up and sick of it. So from now on,just leave me alone and shut up. Don't force me to the end of the path. I need my own way.

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