An Idiot girl.

Poor Janice, another bad experience.The same experience. Twice. Sad but not angry. Disappointed but never blame anyone but her for doing the same mistake again. What a stupid girl. Real dumb. I guess.

How many times do she want to get hurt until she can understand there is no hope anymore? How many times? Total no hope. She and the thing. She feel like slapping herself, real hard so she can wake up. At least realise something and be mature. She feel like crying, but her tears won't come out at all. The depression portrayed on her face. She hope she can be wiser, think smart and be positive. Non-stop questioning herself, why? why? why? Why does she keep hoping? Why does she keep trusting? Why does she keep believing that there will be a good ending? In the end, all screw up. It didn't go the way as she wants. It just went upside down. Everything goes wrong. Why does it have to opposite? Why does it have to kill her interest,trust and hope? It kills everything in her heart, change the way how she thinks and the way she feels. Becoming a different person. It doesn't matter. Who matters anyway? So does she. She just want to feel right, everything back to normal and everything goes its actual path.

When "the guy" says something, she trusts it. When "the guy" says something "nice", she falls for it. When "the guy" asks her out, she takes it seriously. In the end, "the guy" didn't show up. She feel like an idiot, sitting there and waiting for "him" to show up. Hoping that "he" will come and meet up. After waiting for several hours, "the guy" doesn't show up. She is frustrated, and anger flow through her spine, blood boiling, clenching her fist and feel like punching her face but not "his". Punching her to wake up!!! Just wake up!!! Argh! How can she be such a fool? How can she dreaming? There's barely a happy ending. She is a fool, a blind girl who doesn't know what is real or fake. A girl who never realise after getting hurt for a few times. A girl who living in the midst. Hoping and disappointing. Smiles and sighs.... It's time to wake up from her dream now. It's time to move on. Not to rely on somebody. Not to trust a person too much. Not to hope too much.

Ps: Just smile, don't cry. It doesn't worth it.