31/12/10

Today is the last day of 2010. 2010 had been a sad year for me,i guess. Too many things happened, too many things change, I had walked on the wrong path. I couldn't see the light sometime, I was scared and being worried all the time, I lived in a dark world. From now on, I want to be a new person, the real me as Mei Yee said. I want to walk on the right path, make the right choice, do the right thing and be happy. That's all I want, I want a happy life, I want to be relax, not to feel stress all the time, I don't want pressure, I want to throw the rubbish away. It's whole new world. Today, I went out my dad, we went to Korean Street Food for brunch. We were the 1st to reach there which was cool! Haha! He bought me Baskin Robbins, thanks a lot! I think he should eat more, kesian my daddy,so skinny already, maybe is because he is old already. After that, I went to Emmelin house for countdown party, but it didn't look like a countdown party because we didn't countdown due to some reasons. It was just a party lah! Her mum was awesome cook, she can own a restaurant! I bought a half gallon Br for my friends and a quartz BR for my family. But,my friends and I ate the quartz and some of the half gallon! It was my fault!!! So sorry! I wished you all will forgive me!! Arghh!!! Naughty pinky ate the BR when I placed it on the floor! But, she looked cute when her face was filled with chocolate ice cream, I'm afraid that she'll get poison! Luckily, she didn't die! CHOI! TOUCH WOOD! I threw half of the remain ice cream. Stupid giraffe finished the BR because others didn't dare to eat anymore. Whatever! Giraffe didn't mind then it's okay. We played poker and played with dogs! Pei Ling, Emmelin and I went out to countdown although it was evening. I think the neighbours wanna throw something at us! Haha! It was fun but crazy! I said that I want to do something crazy and fun on the last day. Finally,I did it!!! Sorry for showing my apple face to you all. I knew I looked "healthy"! Haha!!! I won't touch beer anymore,I guess.I love the novels, giraffe! I will pay you!! Happy new year to everyone!

You'll never allow me to enter your heart

Brandon won't forget the first time he saw her, her beautiful face. The beautiful sunlight shone on her face, the wind blew her hair backwards caused her face to gleam in the light. Her beautiful smile was pictured in his brain, he wouldn't forget her smile which is the most beautiful thing in the world. He watched Janice every day at school, he wanted to talk to her so badly, but he didn't have the courage to do that. When he opened his mouth,nothing came out as if something had stuck in his throat. When she online, he would immediately double click and sent message to her. His face enlighten with a grin, he felt nervous and excited, he was waiting for her to reply. No word to type except hi and how are you. The beginning of the topic is always the same, but Brandon was satisfied with it. He could stare at her photo for hours, he was not being a pervert, he just like her too much. Every night, he would dream that Janice and him being together. It was the sweetest dream, unfortunately it was not a reality. One day, he made up his mind to confess his feelings towards her. She didn't feel happy bout it, she told him that she just like him as a friend and she offline. Brandon cried for the first time, she hurt him as if she stabbed a knife into his heart. He closed his mouth with his hand to stop himself from crying, he wouldn't give up, he would wait for her. He kept convinced to himself that she would come to him one day. The next day in the morning, Brandon saw Janice again, she was walking towards him, he stood there like a wood and waited for her. He couldn't see anything but her. The people around him had vanished, the sound of the people talking disappeared into the air. The rustle sound of the trees and the whooshing sound of the wind stopped as if they were watching them, watching Janice approached him. When she came to him,she smiled and said hi. Her beautiful smile was back, Brandon said hi back. "I'll wait for u,Janice."Brandon said. "Why? We are just friends,forever."Janice asked. Forever. The word went into his ears,ran down his spine and stabbed through his heart. "Because I really like you. Is there another reason?"Brandon asked. "There is someone else and I really like him. He's special to me. Please don't wait for me anymore." Janice finished her sentence and walked away. Brandon grab her arm and told her not to go,not to leave him just like that. She said sorry and pushed his hand away, made her way to her class. He could feel that her eyes were cold, not the friendly Janice, he felt shameful standing there like a lonely boy who has been left behind. He watched her walked away until out of sight, he couldn't forget her. He wished there was a hole for him to hide, cry as loudly as he could, let the pain to fade away. I know who is he, I hate him, he whispered. Janice ran away from his gaze every time he looked at her and she didn't reply his message anymore as if she didn't know him. That night, he shifted his gaze upwards to the sky, tears ran down from the corner of his eye. The last thing he could do was to pray the God that Janice would be happy. He knew there was no other space for him to enter her heart, he was not the one for her.

That's why I'm not happy

After I took my pmr result, I thought I would feel happy. But,I just felt slightly happy. After a few days, my smile faded away because it didn't change anything, it didn't change my life. I still need to move on,every single thing doesn't change, it didn't change my parents' opinion bout me. They show sour face every day, so did I. I thought they would be proud of me, give me a hug or let me know that I'm great. But,they just acted as if nothing happen. They knew my result and oohed, just like that, no face expression or action. I nodded and walked away. I lost my mood today, sat on the sofa like a doll, expressionless and my mind was blank. I couldn't believe after I did everything, study every day to aim for the best result just to let them know I can do it, I'm smart as my sister and I'm not a failure,but they didn't appreciate my effort. When I was in the car, I looked outside the window, staring at the blue sky and told myself that I want freedom, just freedom. Hot tears wanted to slip out from my eyes, I tried to blink back my tears, but they streamed down my face in the end. I closed my eyes, trying not to think anything, I didn't want any tears to stream down my face because I felt embarassing crying infront of my family. I turned my face to the left side, hiding my tears from them. Once I stepped out from the car, I wiped away my tears and looked at the windshield, made sure my eyes didn't look red and swollen. I walked along the empty street, the cold wind blew against me, I felt cold and lonely. I brushed back my hair, fought the urge to cry and moved on. When a car passed away, I had the urge to run across the road and I wished the car would hit me. But, I couldn't do it because it was stupid. My parents tried to talk to me, but I didn't bother to reply them, I was extremely sad, I had no voice to talk anymore. Well, my parents didn't care bout me too, they told me not to go out,just stay at home forever. I asked my mum for panadol because I felt dizzy, she said she didn't has it and told me not to go out anymore. I felt hurt when she showed me that she didn't care at all. I followed them, walked behind them slowly, my head hung down, I didn't want to look at them. I clenched my fist tightly, swallowed the lump in my throat, blinked back my tears and I told myself that I wanted to be strong. My head suddenly feel dizzy, I clamped my hand over my forehead, my view was blurry. I dropped to my knees and closed my eyes, I wanted to faint. A part of me wanted to faint, a part of me wanted to be strong and stand up. I took a gulp of water which comforted me and I didn't feel dizzy anymore. This isn't me, I usually walk fast, chin held high and show my confidence to the people surrounding me. But, I lost my confidence now, I felt weak because nobody will stay by my side to support me anymore. I'm tired of crying...

Pmr result!

When I stepped in the school, I felt nothing. I didn't realize today is the day. I went straight to SPBT room and did my work. When teacher said it was time to get PMR result, I still sat on my chair and kept on doing my work. After I've done my work, I got to my feet and head on to the hall. I could everyone was nervous, prayed for good result, afraid to take a step forward to the hall. I saw a girl sitting beside me prayed hardly for good result. I was afraid that she might burst into tears! When everyone queued to get their result, I saw some students hooping up and down, while some students burst into tears. Anyway, there was some people was shocked too, couldn't believe what they got. When teacher called my name,I just stepped forward and smiled. I knew what's my result when teacher said congratulation. I got 8A! I said yay and just walked away! Haha! I guess Xing Yee saw my reaction. LOL! After that, we went to Mcd for lunch and Giraffe bought BR for dessert! Thanks loh! We went to Jie's house to eat BR and watch Singapore movie. Anyway, nice water!!! Haha! Congratz to every form 3 students!!!

Falling in love with a friend

May and Patrick used to be best friends, but time changed everything. The path changed, so did their friendship. Patrick's house was just a stone threw away from May's house. He always go to her house since they were young. He couldn't live without May,so did May. They walked to school hand in hand every morning, although they were just friends. It became their habit, people around them were gossiping bout them, but they didn't bother at all. They were just like twins, they'll never leave each other arm. They sat on the same row at class, sat together at the canteen, ate together, laughed together and shared everything. When they grew up, Patrick had a girlfriend. May thought Patrick will leave her, but he didn't. She thought he will spend his time being with his girlfriend, but he didn't. He was still the same old Patrick. May also wanted to have a boyfriend, so she had a relationship with someone. When Patrick knew bout her relationship, he was shocked, he felt a twinge of nerves, a weird feeling began to rise in his body. He was afraid that May wouldn't hang out with him anymore, he was afraid that May will just talk to her boyfriend most of the time, but she didn't. Instead she talked to Patrick most of the time although she had a boyfriend. They were still best friends, their friendship never change. After a few months, May's boyfriend began to feel impatient and mad because May was never been there when he wanted to see her. He knew May was staying with Patrick. So, he decided to break up with her. May cried, she knew it was her fault, she knew it was wrong to be with Patrick all the time. But, she couldn't leave him. She stood outside in the cool night, watching the dark sky with sparkling stars hanging in the sky. She didn't feel alone after her boyfriend left. This feeling was wrong,indeed. She wanted to beg for forgiveness, she wanted to feel sad, she wanted to hate herself for being selfish. But, she didn't. In fact, she felt happy that she was single now, escaping from the jail. She rose to her feet, and ran, ran towards Patrick's house. She knew what to do, she knew what she wanted. When she arrived at the door, clicked open the doorknob, she saw Patrick and his girlfriend stood at the living room. His girlfriend's eyes were cold, patrick's head hung down, she could feel the atmosphere was cold and awkward, angel filled the room. There was a fight. Patrick's girlfriend slapped his face, May's eyes wide opened. "How could you do that to me? I'm your girlfriend,not May! You belong to me. Why you keep being with her?"she said through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry. She's my best friend, I can't lose her. We are done." Patrick replied. "No,she's not your best friend. You like her. I hate you treating me like this. You suck!" "Yes,I need to admit that I like her. I know I'm being a total jerk. But,I love being with her not you. I'm sorry." May shriek and covered her mouth with her hands. They gazed at her, the atmosphere became more awkward. May ran outside, ran along the road with confusion and shock. She heard footsteps behind her, she heard someone was calling her and that was Patrick. He pulled her to a halt. She turned to look at his face, she saw his face is blushing, so did she, she felt her cheek was burning. "Why did you run?"Patrick asked. "I was shocked. I don't know how to react. Do you mean what you said to her just now? Or it was just a joke? I'm confused. I thought we are best friends." May said. " Yes,we are. I mean it,May. It's true. I want to be with you." Patrick held her hands. May smiled and entered his open heart, their friendship was over,but they moved into a special and happier relationship life.

Gathering with my primary school friends at pyramid (12/12/2010)

I had a great day with Wan Jun,Yi Yuan, Yeo Rhey, Pei En, Juvi, Edwin and Zheng Hao. I really miss them a lot after separate for 3 years. Yeo Rhey's hair is super duper long, she looks like a Rapunzel! A beautiful Rapunzel! Haha! Wan Jun still looked the same, cute! Zheng Hao is freaking tall, I don't like to stand beside him which makes me look like a tiny ant. Yi Yuan, Pei En and Yeo Rhey grew taller. Oh god! I was taller than them last time. Now, I'm shorter. Pity me. We went to Kim Gary for lunch. We talked bout our life, school life, love life and much much more. After that, they went for movies, Narnia. While I went to look for Mei Yee! I disturbed her for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Haha! After movies, we went to play snooker. Zheng Hao seemed like he really like to play snooker. Juvi and Yi Yuan looked cute when they played snooker. Wan Jun went to buy sweets. I went to buy bubble tea and saw Pei Ling! I really miss you all a lot, I am looking forward to the next gathering! ^^ Keep in touch!

Girl's jealousy

Grace had a handsome boyfriend,Joe. He had a pair of brown eyes, brownish hair, 185 cm tall, sharp chin and long eyelashes. While Grace was freaking pretty which made boys fall for her. She had a perfect body, fit, sweet eyes, sexy lips, tanned legs and fair skin. They were a perfect couple in everyone's eye. They always hang out with their best friend, which they love to do. Grace's best friend, Brenda loved to stick with Joe. He was her best friend, they loved to talk to each other, shared their secrets and sat together. Brenda felt comfortable when she was with Joe, she liked him a lot as friend. She was getting on Grace's nerves, since Joe was her boyfriend, not Brenda's. Although Grace's heart felt uncomfortable, but she never spit it out, she didn't want to get into any trouble. It was better to act as if nothing happened. But when time passed, her patience faded away. She felt she was not his girlfriend anymore, Brenda replaced her. She knew Joe was being natural when he was with Brenda, he told her everything, didn't left out a word. When Joe was standing in front of Grace, he felt awkward and he was afraid to take action, which made Grace felt awkward too. Things were getting weirder, Grace thought. Maybe worse. They were no longer a sweet couple as everyone said. It was just a name, couple. When Brenda was talking to Grace, Grace didn't want to listen, she was mad, expressionless. Sometime, she just oohed and walked away. Brenda asked her what happened, she just smiled, speechless. Brenda knew something was going on, but she didn't knew that it was her fault. Although Grace said nothing, but she said:"You bitch! Leave me alone, leave him alone, he's mine, don't you know? He likes me,not you." in her heart. Grace hated Brenda, maybe, but she didn't want to hate her, Brenda was her best friend. But, how could she took away Joe from Grace? Grace didn't want to talk to her, she hated talking with her, it was a waste of time. Maybe it was stupid to hate a friend because of a boy. But, Grace loved him so much, he was belong to her, he should be with her, not Brenda, he should talk to her, he should just smile at her, he should tell her everything. "How can you forget bout me?"she asked him in her mind. She wanted to tell Brenda that she was jealous, but she didn't have the courage since Joe treated her as his best friend. Whenever she saw Brenda stood a feet away from Joe, she would keep looking at them, paid every attention on them to make sure nothing happen between them. She didn't want any sparks happen between them, she hoped Brenda could stay away from him, stay away the hell from him. There was a line between them, blocking them, made sure they wouldn't cross the line. When Joe was talking to Brenda and left Grace a side, Grace wanted to cry so badly in front of him, but she fought the urge and slowly backed away. She was back to her lonely world again. She ran, ran to a place to hide, hoped nobody would find her. But, she hoped Joe would follow her and pull her back in his arm, hug her tightly. In fact, he never did that, he never care bout her feelings, he didn't understand her. She dropped to her knees, placed her head on knees and cried, she hoped Joe would hand her a piece of tissue and tell her he love her. Unfortunately, she knew she was alone, because there was Brenda stood beside him, he would never notice Grace. Grace wished she'd never know Brenda, she wanted her to get out of her life, she just wanted to be with Joe, that's all what she wanted, was it so difficult? Why Brenda wanted to split them? Why? Her presence made Grace suffered. Friends could share everything, but not boyfriend.

Boy's jealousy

Jonathan began to realize that his heart is filled with jealousy. He met a girl, Melinda in his secondary school, they studied in the same class. He was so excited when he found out that he could study with her at the same time. He liked Melinda a lot, so did everyone. Melinda was a popular queen at school, boys were falling from the tree for her. When he saw Melinda was chatting with the boys and smiling at them, he felt his heart ached. His face immediately fell, maybe he was jealous. Melinda was a honey, the boys were the bees. They would stick to her everywhere and every time. They were like bodyguards trying to protect her from sudden attack. In fact, Jonathan was left behind in the queue, he felt depressed because he knew Melinda wouldn't fall for him. He tried every opportunity to talk to her, but hid body will begin to tremble when he approached her, sweats were dripping over his nose. When the seat beside her was empty, he had the rush to step in front and sit next to her. Before he made the move, other guy appeared on the seat already. Watching them giggling and talking to each other, he had the urge to push that guy away and tell him that the seat was belong to him. Of course he wouldn't do that, he just watched them with a pang of jealousy and sighed. During recess, he punched the wall for being such a coward. What else he could do,what a stupid guy, there's no need to hurt himself. 3/7/2010 08:45:50, he remembered the date, the time, the minute and the second so well because miracle happened. Melinda wanted to borrow his workbook, he stared at her eyes in disbelief, then his head hung down, his eyes were fixed on the ground, his hands were trembling, his foot were frozen, he couldn't move. "Jonathan?",Melinda called his name. "Er,yeah?",Jonathan said. " Didn't you hear what I said just now?" "Oh! I did. Erm, here it is."Jonathan handed the workbook. Melinda said thank you and smiled. He smiled back. That was the first time she smiled at him. "oh god! I can't breathe!",he thought. His heart was thumping fast, he felt dizzy that he almost faint, butterflies were flying above his head. He put his chin on his hand, he could only see her in his eyes from the distance, not allowed anybody to go in. "Gosh, you're beautiful."he whispered. He looked like a pervert or an idiot sitting on his chair, his mind was somewhere else, not in the class for sure. He closed his eyes, smiling stupidly, imagining something. What a freak. He wanted to post: "Melinda talked to me in my class! I mean ours!" in facebook. But, if he post this, he would be killed by millions of bees. He hate those bees. He wanted to be a flower that had the most handsome and protective petals, so that Melinda as the honey could stay in his heart and he wanted to protect her from those bees

A person who called "friend"

A friend will always stay by your side,not your lover. You should know that,it's common sense. Casy had a close friend, Jason. He was two years older than her,but they remained they remained their good friendship. It's very difficult to have a friend that treats you well. Jason treated Casy like a younger sister, he cared bout her, talked to her everyday, sms her every night, shared happiness and sadness with her and he would try to make her smile when she was sad. But, that friendship was a past tense, it had gone. Casy liked him very much, he was a good guy, a diamond in the sea. She almost fall for him because he was the only person who cared bout her. Until one day, Jason had a girlfriend, he told Casy how happy he was to has a first relationship. He always tell her bout their dates, their sweet relationship, he totally out of his mind, he never talked bout Casy. After a few months, Casy didn't receive any news bout him, she didn't receive his message. When she messaged him, he didn't reply at all. Jason didn't bother her anymore,she was out of the line, there was only his girlfriend in his heart. Casy cried every night because of him, she didn't like to talk after that. She felt alone without his presence. When Jason broke up with his girlfriend, he felt awful and upset. He went back to Casy,he told her everything bout his broke up. Casy didn't blame him, in face she encourage him to go on. They became close to each other again, closer than the past. Unexpectedly, he found another girl after few months. Casy thought he will change, but he didn't change at all. Once again,he left her. If I were Casy, I will never treat Jason as a friend. Jason just used her, he wanted somebody cared bout him, he didn't want to feel lonely, so he went back to her. Friend will never leave you, but your lover does.

Best Friends

You are the soul in my heart,
make my heart beats every minute,
refuse to stop with you by my side.

Cross the bridge together,
hand in hand walk along the path.
Rise our head,
gaze the cotton candy in the sky.

Whispering at my ear,
laughter echo in my eardrum.
Notice every grin and swollen eye.
You throw away my sadness,
create smile in my life,
happiness enter my heart,
when you hold my hand.

Eating ice cream with delight,
sweetness lying on the tongue,
breaking into a sudden grin,
and that's the way we look.

When your mouth move up and down,
every single word locks in my brain and in my heart.
Secrets share on the phone,
others echo in the air.

Wind can't blow us away,
we share our hearts,
forward every step,
cross the river,
and never look back.

You are impossible to find

It's very difficult to find the right person in your life. You need to search it with all your efforts,with pleasure and hope. Somebody might not even find the right person in their life. Nick had many ex girlfriends in his life, none of them was his perfect lady. They wanted to be with him because he was rich and handsome, their heart jumped at first sight, he was gorgeous! His heart was empty now recently, single, and bored, but it was time for him to look for the right girl. That wonderful morning, the sun was rising over the horizon, birds were chirping on the trees, the sunlight shone upon him, made him awake to see the beautiful sun. The warm breeze was knocking on his door, when he stepped outside, the sun was smiling at him, he loved the fresh morning air. He took a deep breath and sighed, he decided to take a walk. Jogging made him felt better, the music in the phone made his eardrum vibrated, it was a good morning. He jogged until a halt when he saw a girl was standing by the roadside, she attracted him. Her long wavy hair tied back with a ponytail, she was holding a drawing book and a pencil, he realized she was drawing the scenery. His body forced him to make a move, he couldn't control himself. When he stood behind her, she turned to look at him curiously. "Who are you?",the girl asked. "She's beautiful",he thought. "Hi, I'm Nick. Are you drawing something? Can I take a look?",Nick asked."Yeah,sure." She handed him the drawing book."God,it's awesome! You love drawing. Are you an artist?" "Yeah.By the way,I'm Jerica." "I'm Nick. Nice to meet u" That day was the first day they met each other. Nick would never forget their conversation. After a month, Jerica fell for him, they were a couple. In Nick life,she was the most awesome person, he couldn't live without her, he never felt like this before, maybe this is called love. They went for movies, dinner in a fancy restaurant, played in the theme park, hand in hand walking down the street and shopping like most couples did. Nick did it for a thousands time, but he felt it was like the first date for him, the most memorable date. When he held her hand, he will held it tightly, he didn't want to let it go, she was belong to him only. He was the luckiest person in the world when he got to see her smile. When he came back from work, it was 11.40pm. He punched the password and stepped into his apartment, red wine, candle lights and lamb chop was placed nicely on the table. He saw Jerica was sleeping soundly on his sofa, she looked beautiful even when she was asleep. He brushed through her fringe and planted a kiss on her forehead. Jerica opened her eyes and saw Nick, she gave a smile and rub her tired eyes."You are back."Jerica said. "Yeah.What's this bout?"Nick pointed at the dining table. "Happy Birthday!" Jerica said and hugged him. "Oh my god! I forgot my birthday! How do you know today is my birthday?"Nick asked. " Well,I think you mum told me.Hah! Luckily,I remember it. If not you gonna be alone today." "Thanks!" Jerica hurried to the kitchen and took a cake out from the fridge. "I made this for you. You must eat it!" " Sure,I will. This is the first time you cook for me. How lovely!" Jerica fed him a piece of cake, that was the delicious food in the world for Nick. "Jerica, you are the most wonderful girl in the world. I can't leave you forever. My only wish is to be with you forever. Can't you promise me not to leave me?" "Yes! I promise you,Nick.I am yours." Jerica threw her arms around him, fresh tears sprang into her eyes. Nick had found the right person, he loved her so much.